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Monthly Archives: November 2014

Thankfulness isn’t just for Thanksgiving

27 Thursday Nov 2014

Posted by kristinbidwell in Life Lessons, What Inspires Me

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family, friends, gratitude, holidays, life

This year will mark my sixth holiday season working in TV news. I think most newsies will tell you that, more than the odd hours and low pay, working the holidays is one of the absolute worst parts of the job. Out of those six holiday seasons, this is only the second where I will be working Thanksgiving AND Christmas, and for that, I consider myself quite lucky.

It’s around this time every year that I usually find myself in an emotional tug of war. I start out grouchy, resentful that I have to sacrifice so much of my personal life for my job. Then I try to snap myself out of it with a stern internal lecture. I realize I’m far from the only person who has to work holidays, and many of the other people who will be working have jobs that are arguably more difficult and more important than mine. In fact, I learned in a story we ran at my station last night that about 25 percent of Americans will work Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year’s.

I think about the doctors and nurses taking care of people; the policemen, firefighters and paramedics keeping us safe; the pilots and other airline workers getting people home to their families. I think of the many servicemen and women overseas, who may not see their own families for months or more. I feel pretty lucky to be able to enjoy a potluck with coworkers whom I consider friends, and then put together a newscast.

Spending Thanksgiving 2013 with some of my favorite FOX 7 girls.

Spending Thanksgiving 2013 with some of my favorite FOX 7 girls.

Of course, there’s still that feeling of missing out on some quality time with my family and old friends back home. But I also recognize that I am lucky to have so many people whom I love and miss so much.

When you spend a lot of the holidays working, you become acutely aware that there are a handful of days each year when it seems like everybody is getting together and having a good time. (You don’t usually think about the stresses of hosting big gatherings and spending money, or tensions between family members, or sadness felt for those who’ve been lost.) But the flip side of that is the much deeper appreciation you feel for the moments you do get to take part in.

Enjoying some much-appreciated family time on Thanksgiving 2010.

Enjoying some much-appreciated family time on Thanksgiving 2010.

Last year it was almost Thanksgiving when I found out I’d been approved to take off the entire week of Christmas. It had felt like an impossibility and I was filled with so much joy when I found out that my eyes filled with tears.

The trip wasn’t without its emotional and financial stressors, but being able to celebrate with our family and friends that year is something I will always cherish. I got to be there as my boyfriend’s twin niece and nephew celebrated their first Christmas. And he got to share the annual Christmas Eve celebration at my great aunt’s house; it may have been the last year for that tradition, as she won’t be able to host this year, for the first time in decades.

This year I will miss Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family, but I’m already looking forward to getting home for New Year’s Eve. I will spend five days in my hometown, and eagerly soak up as much time as I can with the family and friends I rarely get to see. It will be Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s all rolled into one. And I hope that as my life goes on, no matter when I get a chance to enjoy time with the ones I love, that I can hold on to that thankfulness, whether it’s Thanksgiving or not.

Music Monday: Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of

24 Monday Nov 2014

Posted by kristinbidwell in Music Monday, What Inspires Me

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depression, emotion, inspiration, music, U2

I don’t claim to know what’s the “coolest” music out there. (In fact, sometimes the trendiest stuff doesn’t really fit my taste.) But music has played a huge role in my life, from listening it to playing it. The right song can make you happy, make you sad, make you fall in love. So in the coming weeks, I plan to share some of the songs that have really touched me, in one way or another. Starting with…

[spotify https://play.spotify.com/track/3xjTuTBaihydhSC7ByNoSb ]

When I was a freshman in high school, I experienced my first bout of depression. It went on for months before I had the courage to talk to my mom about it. In that time, I made a mix CD (remember those?) of all the songs I thought had the power to inspire me out of my depression.

I’m not prescribing music as a treatment for anyone’s mental health issues, but I will say, to an extent, it helped a lot. This particular song, U2’s “Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of,” was one of my favorites on the “album.” I loved the concept of simply being stuck, needing a little push to get out of what was simply a moment. As a teenager dealing with an onslaught of loneliness, hopelessness, and sadness, I was also overwhelmed and scared, wondering when those feelings would finally wash away. This song simplified it for me. It was a moment, and I needed to get unstuck. When I finally got help and starting feeling more myself, “unstuck” really seemed applicable to how I felt.

Happiness is an emotion, not a destination

23 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by kristinbidwell in Emotions, Life Lessons, Overthinking Things

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emotion, happiness, happy, life, pressure, self-improvement

It seems like everywhere I turned this year, if I didn’t hear Pharrell Williams’s “Happy” playing every ten minutes on the radio or in a new lip dub on YouTube, I was watching my friends post pictures of lattes and sunsets and guacamole with the hashtag #100happydays.

Maybe it was because this was a challenging year personally, as I watched many people close to me deal with real, life-changing struggles. Or maybe it was because I turned 27 and suddenly felt an immediate, boulder-heavy pressure to know exactly where my life was headed and how and when I was going to get there. But never before have I felt such a push to be unabashedly, unquestionably, unapologetically happy.

So what’s the problem with that?

Most people who know me would tell you I’m an optimistic, outgoing person. I like to make the people around me smile, and keep in touch with the people I love who are a thousand miles away. On the outside, feeling happy does not seem like it’s a problem for me. And it’s not.

Where the pressure comes in is when you start looking for Happiness with a capital H. Happiness becomes another item on your Life Checklist.

√   Establish satisfying career
√   Meet perfect man
√   Marry Mr. Perfect
√   Buy dream home
√   Have beautiful children
√   Be Happy?

Beyond the obvious fact that if you wait to achieve all of your life goals before you allow yourself to be Happy, you could be waiting years, if not decades… the scary thought remains that even if you get to the bottom of that checklist you still might not be Happy. And in the meantime, you may have cheated yourself out of all the beautiful, little-H happy moments along the way.

I did the ole Google trick and typed in “how to be” tonight. The results were as I expected:

The number one thing Googlers want to be? Happy.

The number one thing Googlers want to be? Happy.

I even bought a book about happiness this year. I don’t remember what it was called, but it literally had a picture of a fence on the front cover showing the grass greener on the other side. What I learned? Happiness is not sustainable. (That may have been a word-for-word sentence in the book.) We become accustomed to the joy we feel from a new job, a new relationship, a new life change. We forget how happy those things make us. The book said a Nobel prize winner was asked how long the excitement lasted from his win; I believe his response was that it lasted about a day.

This isn’t meant to be a pessimistic viewpoint; in fact, I hope it makes you breathe a sigh of relief. You are not alone. There is not a person on this planet who feels happy 100 percent of the time. And guess what? That is okay.

Striving for a Happy Life is not only normal, it’s admirable. But when you’re tunnel-visioned on Happy, you may find you’re not treating yourself with the kindness you need when you’re not quite there. When you’re struggling with doubt, or anger, or grief, or frustration, the negativity in those emotions is magnified when you face them with an attitude of “I should be Happy.” Feeling those things doesn’t make you Not Happy–it makes you Human.

**I should add, I have no ill will toward the 100 Happy Days project. I was reading up on the guy who started it, and I love the idea of finding things in our lives that we are grateful for. (Remember what I said before about the happiness book and how happiness isn’t sustainable? Cultivating gratitude was a suggested solution for that.) But I guess #100GratefulDays doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

And I will reluctantly admit that, even after the overplayed summer that it had, there are still times when Pharrell’s song comes on, and I clap along.

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