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Tag Archives: kindness

Three easy ways to keep a bad day from becoming a catastrophe

25 Thursday Aug 2016

Posted by kristinmaiorano in Bettering Myself, Unsolicited Advice

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bad days, challenges, kindness, self-improvement, work

I work in a high-stress job. There are unmovable deadlines, exhaustingly weird hours, and moments where something new drops in your lap and has to be executed, like, two seconds ago. Tempers flare, sometimes all-out chaos strikes, and many days anxiety buzzes through my veins along with my coffee.

Recently, the stress has been acutely higher. Many coworkers are taking end-of-summer time off, and the staff has been stretched thin. Today was one of those non-stop, one-thing-after-another days, and I almost let it get the best of me. I was proud of myself for being able to let things go when I got home for the day. I’ve talked a lot about not complaining in the past (refreshers here and here if you missed it), so I’ll leave out what NOT to do to avoid that snowballing “Today Was a BAD Day” feeling. I realized there were three easy things I did RIGHT, and I wanted to share.

  1. Take care of others

    For me, there’s a warm feeling in making a difference in someone’s day. One of the biggest sources of stress recently has been having to take on a little extra work, but taking a moment to recognize that a coworker (or partner, or friend, or family member…) could really use a hand helps me achieve a sense of purpose in a stressful day.

    For example, this morning I was rushing around at work, trying to finish five different things, when I noticed a coworker seemed to be in a bind. I asked, “Is there anything I can help you with right now?” Turns out, there wasn’t anything I could do; she was just trying to hustle because she wasn’t in the right spot. But just the act of offering my ability to help sort of snapped me out of what was spiraling into an inner monologue of self-pity, complaining to myself about the extra work that I felt stuck with. I recognized a bit of what I was feeling in her, and remembered we’re all in the same boat. We might as well all row it together.

    There’s a flip side to this way of thinking too. Even if you’re not in a position to offer one iota of extra help, you can make sure that you aren’t unfairly unleashing your frustrations on someone else. I like to think of it like that doctors’ vow: “Above all, do no harm.” I think pretty much everyone who works in the news industry has had a few instances where they’ve gone off on a coworker in a moment of stress. In my experience, that has never actually made me feel better.

  2. Take care of yourself

    This is an important caveat to my first point. Many of us spend so much time doing things for others, we forget to look out for ourselves. It’s not always top of mind, but try to remember to take time to check in with yourself and ask yourself what you need right now.

    I get it. In the heat of a busy day, sometimes your own needs are the last thing on your mind. Working in news, often food, rest, and even bathroom breaks are not top priority. But you have to head home at some point, and once you finally get a chance to turn off your work brain, turn your focus inward.

    For me, winding down from today’s stress meant giving myself a break. Instead of going for a run like I’d planned, I pushed it back to tomorrow and put on my PJs. I allowed myself to have some comfort food–a “dinner” of Honey Nut Cheerios–and watched some Netflix before spending most of the day reading and writing. I decided folding clothes and washing dishes could wait.

    On a different day, taking that run would have been exactly what I needed, along with a healthy salad and a deep cleaning of the apartment. Some days knocking out a few songs on the piano does the trick. And you can bet my boyfriend knows that days when I come home and run a bubble bath are days when I need some space.

    IMG_8229

    Sometimes all I need is a nice, hot cup of tea to unwind.

    This isn’t just about what how you’re eating and spending your time. Check in with your self talk and how you’re treating yourself. I’m still working on the concept of being my own best friend–and talking to myself that way. Instead of thinking, “I’m failing at everything I try to do today,” tell yourself, “I’m doing the best I can,” or “I’ll try again tomorrow.” Remember, you’ve survived every bad day so far!

  3. When all else fails, DANCE

    Such a quick fix… why don’t we think of this every time?? As I was driving home today, I was in a bit of a “long day hangover.” I decided to pop on an upbeat playlist, and it really did the trick! When I hit a stop light, I started bobbing and weaving like a crazy person, and by the time I got home, much of my anxiety had floated away.

    I’m telling you, the power of music is palpable, people! Of course, I think I’m pretty impressionable, so if a song tells me to cry, I’ll cry, and if it tells me to dance, I’ll dance!

    Here’s one of my favorites that gets me moving every time:

Feel-Good Friday: I’m Gonna Love You Through It

24 Friday Jul 2015

Posted by kristinmaiorano in Feel-Good Friday, What Inspires Me

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gratitude, inspiration, kindness, love, music

I spend many hours each week–for work and for fun–sifting through some of the best videos on the internet. When my coworker and friend shared this one with me the other day, I thought it sounded cute. When I clicked on the link and started watching, I thought it was sweet. When I got about two minutes into it, I was trying to hold back my tears.

I played this on my newscast this morning, and everyone had the same reaction. This is the PS22 Chorus, a group of 5th graders in New York, dedicating one of their songs to a teacher who recently started fighting breast cancer. And it’s one of the best things the internet has to offer:

To me, this video embodies Life. There is no escaping hardship or pain, but if we’re lucky, we’ll have people around to “love us through it.” We can’t always sing it to the people we love, but these sweet kids have inspired me to show it the best that I can.

When notes between neighbors can surprise you

29 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by kristinmaiorano in Overthinking Things

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

comfort zone, confrontation, expectations, kindness

When I moved to Chicago, I was eager to find a place that felt like home. After a day of looking at places that were mostly duds, the last place I found just felt right. It had almost everything I was looking for–hardwood floors, stainless steel appliances, a brand new washer and dryer, an easy walk to Lake Michigan. I moved in a week later, and before long the place started to really feel like my own.

But then I had a problem.

After about a month of peace and quiet, and a building all to myself, my upstairs neighbors moved in.

They looked friendly enough when I awkwardly peeked through the blinds as they unloaded their moving van. I told myself there was no way they could have known that they timed their arrival perfectly for my 3 p.m. bedtime. And that a little stomping up the back steps was to be expected; I mean, really, who moves quietly?

Within a few days, I knew this was going to be trouble. I’d noticed how thin the walls were when I heard the maintenance crews clomping up and down the steps and the mail lady swinging the door open and slamming it shut. Now I learned that the ceiling was just as thin. I could track my new neighbors’ movements by the shifting creaks above my head. And most days, I was treated to my own personal concert echoing through their floors.

I consider myself a relatively patient and understanding person, so I told myself that they were probably using music to pass the time while they unpack. But by the second week of second-hand tunes, I knew it wasn’t going away, and I was starting to get cranky.

For the sake of my sanity, I knew I’d have to find a way to ask them to turn it down. This shouldn’t be a big deal, but I spent another week asking people whether I should leave a note or knock, and if I left a note, what should it say? I’d like to say my problem is that I’m too nice, but that would be too nice. The bottom line is, I hate confrontation. And maybe, I’m afraid people won’t like me. Besides, given that I was dealing with people I’ve never met, there was the whole question mark of whether confrontation would end with slashed tires, or worse–them spitefully turning the music up louder.

So this week, at my wits end, I finally got up the nerve to leave the note. I saturated it with politeness, and hoped it wouldn’t be the worst first impression I’ve ever made.

I wrote, “Hi there, Can you please lower the volume of your stereo? Unfortunately, the walls/floors/ceilings are very thin here and the music carries through other apartments. Thanks so much for understanding.” I taped it on the door, walked down the stairs, considered running back and taking it down, and then just hoped for the best.

That night, when I went to take my dog out, I saw my note taped to the mailboxes. I was afraid to find a big middle finger drawn on it, but when I came back in, I found that it was better than I anticipated:

It seems sometimes politeness can go a long way.

It seems sometimes politeness can go a long way.

Yep, you read that right. “Of course! We’re so sorry! (Emphasis added in my head) Thank you for the note.”

I was mildly shocked too.

The side of me that’s a strong believer in karma wants to think that this is just the Universe rewarding me for my inherent goodness. Ha. More realistically, I have nice neighbors who simply didn’t realize how much their music was bothering me. (Maybe too nice; who thanks a neighbor for a complaining note??)

But I can’t help but think their response might not have been so easygoing if I’d snapped and reacted in anger. It’s just one more reason to treat people around me with kindness and respect. And a small reassurance that, yes, reasonable neighbors do exist.

Feel-Good Friday: A nurse with a heart of gold

24 Friday Apr 2015

Posted by kristinmaiorano in Feel-Good Friday

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Tags

humanity, kindness, nurse, passion

I spend an excessive amount of time in the wormhole that is the internet. To make matters worse, my day job requires me to fuel that addiction by finding the best (or sometimes worst) things humanity has to offer.

So I’ve decided to use my powers for good by helping us all end the week right. I’m calling it “Feel-Good Friday,” sharing some of the most touching stories out there that are sure to make you smile.

Starting with this amazing lady:

That teen girl unexpectedly became paralyzed from the waist down for 11 days. The day she was able to walk again, she wanted to surprise one of her favorite nurses, with heartwarming results.

It’s wonderful to see a woman who clearly gives so much of herself to the people around her, who cares about what she does and wants to make a difference. It got me a little choked up!

Happy Friday!

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