• About Kristin

Accidental Wisdom

~ Ingest at your own risk.

Accidental Wisdom

Monthly Archives: August 2016

Three easy ways to keep a bad day from becoming a catastrophe

25 Thursday Aug 2016

Posted by kristinbidwell in Bettering Myself, Unsolicited Advice

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

bad days, challenges, kindness, self-improvement, work

I work in a high-stress job. There are unmovable deadlines, exhaustingly weird hours, and moments where something new drops in your lap and has to be executed, like, two seconds ago. Tempers flare, sometimes all-out chaos strikes, and many days anxiety buzzes through my veins along with my coffee.

Recently, the stress has been acutely higher. Many coworkers are taking end-of-summer time off, and the staff has been stretched thin. Today was one of those non-stop, one-thing-after-another days, and I almost let it get the best of me. I was proud of myself for being able to let things go when I got home for the day. I’ve talked a lot about not complaining in the past (refreshers here and here if you missed it), so I’ll leave out what NOT to do to avoid that snowballing “Today Was a BAD Day” feeling. I realized there were three easy things I did RIGHT, and I wanted to share.

  1. Take care of others

    For me, there’s a warm feeling in making a difference in someone’s day. One of the biggest sources of stress recently has been having to take on a little extra work, but taking a moment to recognize that a coworker (or partner, or friend, or family member…) could really use a hand helps me achieve a sense of purpose in a stressful day.

    For example, this morning I was rushing around at work, trying to finish five different things, when I noticed a coworker seemed to be in a bind. I asked, “Is there anything I can help you with right now?” Turns out, there wasn’t anything I could do; she was just trying to hustle because she wasn’t in the right spot. But just the act of offering my ability to help sort of snapped me out of what was spiraling into an inner monologue of self-pity, complaining to myself about the extra work that I felt stuck with. I recognized a bit of what I was feeling in her, and remembered we’re all in the same boat. We might as well all row it together.

    There’s a flip side to this way of thinking too. Even if you’re not in a position to offer one iota of extra help, you can make sure that you aren’t unfairly unleashing your frustrations on someone else. I like to think of it like that doctors’ vow: “Above all, do no harm.” I think pretty much everyone who works in the news industry has had a few instances where they’ve gone off on a coworker in a moment of stress. In my experience, that has never actually made me feel better.

  2. Take care of yourself

    This is an important caveat to my first point. Many of us spend so much time doing things for others, we forget to look out for ourselves. It’s not always top of mind, but try to remember to take time to check in with yourself and ask yourself what you need right now.

    I get it. In the heat of a busy day, sometimes your own needs are the last thing on your mind. Working in news, often food, rest, and even bathroom breaks are not top priority. But you have to head home at some point, and once you finally get a chance to turn off your work brain, turn your focus inward.

    For me, winding down from today’s stress meant giving myself a break. Instead of going for a run like I’d planned, I pushed it back to tomorrow and put on my PJs. I allowed myself to have some comfort food–a “dinner” of Honey Nut Cheerios–and watched some Netflix before spending most of the day reading and writing. I decided folding clothes and washing dishes could wait.

    On a different day, taking that run would have been exactly what I needed, along with a healthy salad and a deep cleaning of the apartment. Some days knocking out a few songs on the piano does the trick. And you can bet my boyfriend knows that days when I come home and run a bubble bath are days when I need some space.

    IMG_8229

    Sometimes all I need is a nice, hot cup of tea to unwind.

    This isn’t just about what how you’re eating and spending your time. Check in with your self talk and how you’re treating yourself. I’m still working on the concept of being my own best friend–and talking to myself that way. Instead of thinking, “I’m failing at everything I try to do today,” tell yourself, “I’m doing the best I can,” or “I’ll try again tomorrow.” Remember, you’ve survived every bad day so far!

  3. When all else fails, DANCE

    Such a quick fix… why don’t we think of this every time?? As I was driving home today, I was in a bit of a “long day hangover.” I decided to pop on an upbeat playlist, and it really did the trick! When I hit a stop light, I started bobbing and weaving like a crazy person, and by the time I got home, much of my anxiety had floated away.

    I’m telling you, the power of music is palpable, people! Of course, I think I’m pretty impressionable, so if a song tells me to cry, I’ll cry, and if it tells me to dance, I’ll dance!

    Here’s one of my favorites that gets me moving every time:

Changing your perspective: Making time for gratitude

09 Tuesday Aug 2016

Posted by kristinbidwell in Bettering Myself, What Inspires Me

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

challenges, gratitude, inspiration, self-improvement

Most mornings, I climb into my car at the ungodly hour of 1 A.M., turn on news radio as I try to catch up on the day’s stories, and let my muscle memory get me from my north side neighborhood into Downtown Chicago. I’m usually lost in thought or trying to stay awake, sometimes realizing I listened to a block of stories without remembering a single one. I’m already planning out my morning, occasionally rehashing some conversation from the day before or worrying about what’s in store for the day ahead.

But one morning, a few weeks ago, some wispy clouds caught my eye by the way they encircled the top of the John Hancock building, glowing in the moonlight. It gave the entire skyline a spooky beauty, almost like a movie scene. The sight shook me out of my morning slump and refocused my brain, reminding me that I love coasting on this stretch of Lake Shore Drive (at least when it’s traffic free!), I love the view of this city at night, and I feel so lucky to work in one of the greatest cities in the world. In fact, I was reminded of the very first morning that I made the drive into the city in the middle of the night, and how seeing the skyline grow larger made the butterflies in my stomach flutter with excitement. (Yes, all that from a few wispy clouds!)

The whole experience (which lasted all of about 15 seconds) got me thinking about gratitude.

Since I started learning about Buddhism and mindfulness a few years ago, there are a few lessons that have popped up over and over again:

  • What you think can affect your whole life
  • You can control your thoughts, and keep them from controlling you
  • Cultivating gratitude is one of the easiest ways to turn your entire life outlook around

It isn’t just a Buddhist thing either. Gratitude is something I constantly see as a top example of how to boost happiness and success. Just yesterday, I came across an article that listed “express[ing] gratitude” as one of the things successful people do every night.

I am deeply aware of the many ways I’m lucky in life. And yet, why is it that it seems so much easier to complain than to hold onto that gratitude? So as a reminder to myself that it feels infinitely better to focus on the positive, I wanted to share a few pointers on how to let gratitude grow:

  1. Feels like the first time: Just like that giddy feeling I remember from the first morning I drove into the city for my (then) new job, try to encapsulate the emotions you felt when things were fresh. Look at your spouse or significant other through the eyes of your first few dates. Instead of complaining that your apartment needs to be cleaned, revisit the excitement of when you first got the keys. Sick of sitting in traffic? Try to remember what it was like when you first got your license, and would gladly face rush hour to fetch a gallon of milk, if it meant a chance to get behind the wheel.

    IMG_5687

    One of my first nights out, back in my hometown but enjoying city life for the first time. Couldn’t get over the gorgeous views!

  2. See things from a simpler view: This may mean to take notes from one of your positive-minded friends. But what’s even better is to think younger. There are so many things we can learn from the carefree kids in our lives. They’re constantly learning, joyfully taking in the world, and literally seeing things for the first time. Not too long ago, my friend’s baby discovered, to her amusement, that she has feet! My other friend’s 2 year old is learning to tell jokes, and his eyes light up every time he makes us laugh. Imagine how adventurous life could feel if you saw it with the fresh eyes of a child.

    This works for animals too! I don’t have kids, but I do have two dogs. Today, my boyfriend and I joked that our girl, Sadie, could spend an entire day just sniffing around in the grass. What’s usually a nuisance should actually be a reminder for me to take time to take in the world around me.

    IMG_5989

    Try to live every day like a dog with his head out the window.

  3. Shut off your thoughts: This goes back to what I mentioned earlier about keeping your thoughts from controlling you. Negativity can become a habit, and the only way out is to retrain your brain. One thing that’s helped me to do that is a kind of on-the-fly meditation. Let the thoughts that pop up in your mind float away, and try to bring your attention back to the present moment–the sights, sounds, smells. Most of the time, that’s enough for me to notice something I’m thankful for, whether it’s a beautiful view out the window, the garlic I’m frying up on the stove, or my boyfriend making up a song on the guitar.
  4. Build in time to be thankful: The more you practice gratitude, the more naturally it will come to you, especially in times when a dark cloud of negativity threatens to take over. It could be as simple as consciously taking a moment or two before bed to look back on the best moments of your day. Or it could be something more overt, like keeping a gratitude journal. The author of the article about successful people I mentioned earlier suggests writing down five things you’re thankful for each night. Recently, I read a blog where the author said he plays a gratitude game with himself each day; he tries to come up with three things he’s grateful for, and works to find those three things by an earlier time than the day before.

The beautiful thing about gratitude is that the more you practice it, the easier it will be. So you really can’t lose with this one.

And when in doubt, just be this girl:

 

Follow Accidental Wisdom on Twitter

My Tweets

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Top Posts & Pages

  • Life's mood swings: Learning to ride the rollercoaster
  • Lessons learned from the Cubs' World Series run
  • Three easy ways to keep a bad day from becoming a catastrophe

Tags

bad days challenges change comfort zone complaining confidence confrontation cubs dance depression dog emotion expectations family friends fulfillment fun funk goals graduation gratitude habits hair happiness happy holidays home humanity inspiration kindness laugh lessons life life changes listening loss love mantra mindfulness Monday moods music news nurse passion pressure reflecting reporter resolution Roanoke shooting self-improvement self care sports tragedy U2 video work yin yang

Previous Posts

  • November 2016
  • August 2016
  • April 2016
  • January 2016
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Accidental Wisdom
    • Join 37 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Accidental Wisdom
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...